Sergio Cisneros
Lantern Staff
When I was younger, I used to sit with my family outside of the garage on humid summer nights. We would watch everything from the rain rushing down the hill we lived on to the fireflies dancing through the grass and between the pine trees that never die.
We had a lamp that would always set next to us because we would stay out long enough to name the constellations that painted the sky when the sun finally inched out of the horizon. The lamp always attracted moths.
One night when the moon was full and wind was still my dad and I were sitting out there alone. Listening to the song the night was playing. The crickets and cicadas were chirping with frogs bellowing out in the distance.
A small moth slowly approached our lamp. It was attracted by the soft flame our lamp was giving off. We watched as it kept running into the glass trying to reach the light. It didn’t stop until it died.
I asked him why it kept doing that. Why it kept going for the light? Why it didn’t care if it died?
He said that moths are attracted to the moon. It’s the brightest thing they see in the wild. They navigate by it. They’re always trying to reach the moon. But when they see a lamp they only see a light source. They chase the light with great conviction. Even if it kills them.
I think about that night a lot since it was one of the last times we spent time like that. My parents split up later that year.
I think about that moth and how it thought it was chasing its destiny. I suppose I think a lot of things are my destiny. I think about the moth and remember how easy it is for me to chase the light. Sometimes I think I’ll never reach the moon. Maybe I never will.
But I won’t let it consume me. One thing I’ve learned is to always be ready to move on to the next light.
I often think about the time that it took to reach you. How joyous I was to reach the light. How happy I was to stay. How it thought you were the moon I was always looking for.
But then the light eventually goes away. I remember how bright our light was. How warm it was. But it’s gone now. At least I knew it was going out this time. So I’ll keep moving from light to light until I find my moon.