Chris Davies
Guest Writer
The four men sat in disconsolate silence in the basement of the 4H building. It was past midnight in the city and aside from the raucous cries from a few drunks and the blaring of an occasional Taxi horn, the city had lapsed into slumber.The four men sat in disconsolate silence in the basement of the 4H building. It was past midnight in the city and aside from the raucous cries from a few drunks and the blaring of an occasional Taxi horn, the city had lapsed into slumber.
“I don’t know how much more I can take of this – this nagging and harping” said Death. “Men are lining up to die. I can hardly inspire fear or terror when they’re fighting to be first in line.”
“It’s all Marriage’s fault” sobbed Pestilence. “She makes me take a shower every day. How am I supposed to carry disease and plague around when the germs are dying under her carbolic washes.”
“She even puts a meal on the table every night – same old thing, but a meal nonetheless. How can I bring famine when there are healthy meals on the table? I long for the days of beer and bar food, at least we could have fun while we wasted away.”
“I can try to bring about a new conflict,” War suggested. “We could get away for a little while we serve.”
Death scoffed. “How is that gonna do any good? They let her enlist. We’ll never have another moment to ourselves. It’s hard to even kill anybody these days – they medivac them out before they even have time to suffer.”
“Hell, she’ll probably make us keep the tent’s picked up and clean, and there are probably showers and latrines in the trenches. People don’t even know what pestilence means anymore.”
“Yeah, and supply lines are good, you can even get pizza in the war zones. I can’t even get a good famine going with war before some do-gooder steps in and feeds the masses.”
“It’s all her fault!” they bemoaned to man.
“I hate Marriage! Can somebody please explain to me why we’ve been saddled with her?” said Death.
They sat in glum silence for a few minutes.
“Famine! Death! Pestilence! War! I know you’re out there. You’d better get yourselves home right now. I’ve had just about enough of your secret meetings. There are chores to be done – now get home before I have to get mad at you!”
